in

It's Sunday night, 9:30, here in Portland.  I'm in my new place now, and am pretty close to getting things set up. The last big things on my list are putting away my clothes, and setting up my stereo.  It's taken me almost a full week to "move in" so to speak, and that's taken a lot of my energy.

It's a very hollow feeling, being now in my new place all by myself.  I've spent the last month staying with friends, so I've had the benefit of rather consistent social contact to pull me through everything.  Now that I'm here in my own pad, everyone is back to their normal lives, and I feel like I'm going to see those people from time to time, every now and then... and maybe not as often as I'd like.  I need to get out I guess and start meeting some new folks.  That can't happen in the bars though.  I don't do that anymore.  It feels like the only way to really do that is through online personals, which tend to be somewhat annoying.  I guess we'll see.  There's an open mike tomorrow night at the local venue/ex-funeral home.  I'll probably start there and see where it goes... just scope it out at first.

The work situation is starting to get a little frustrating, and makes me slightly worrisome.  I've hooked up with a consulting group who are trying to find me some clients.  I've had 2 opportunities already through them that fell through because they had some other folks there before me who weren't able to deliver.  That's about 2 grand, down the drain.  That's tough to swallow.  I hope this isn't a consistent thing here.  I might have to investigate their track record.  More importantly (imPORTLANDly?), I'll need to re-open my job search efforts, and see if I can find something else.  We're getting close to the new year, so it seems that may be tough.

This is a BIG city.  Making the adjustment from small town Ann Arbor to the BIG CITY seems to be a challenge.  It's nice, with all the localize neighborhoods within the city.  I think the hardest thing is the location of the place that I chose.  It's 7/10 of a mile from the center of the local neighborhood.  That is so close, but it just doesn't feel that close to me.  In downtown Ann Arbor, everything was close.  I usually only had to drive to work sometimes, and would drive to go out on occasion.  I'm not going to sugarcoat it, I miss that place a lot.  I miss my friends more than anything.  I was on the phone with a friend of mine back in Ann Arbor yesterday, and we were talking about it.  I almost started crying on the phone.  When I think about everything I left behind there, it's a big pill to swallow.  I'm trying my hardest to stay in touch with everyone, and at the same time, trying to learn the dynamics of it all.  I feel very much like I'm on the outside when it comes to Michigan, and getting people to make the time just to keep that connection isn't that easy.  I know I was probably just as bad about it when people left and I was still there.  I want to rely on people now just as did then, but that's gotta change.  I'll get through it, I know, and I hope some people will come visit me this year.  I think many of them would have such a good time here.

I keep talking about Michigan, but I can't forget my family back in Ohio.  I feel for the most part completely useless to them.  Unfortunately, my dad was in a bad motorcycle accident last week.  He's doing okay, but his lower left leg is pretty much smashed.  He shattered his fibula and tibia, and then broke one of those probably in another place.  A lot of veins down there were tore apart as well.  He's going through a series of surgeries right now to have it all repaired.  I think he'll pull through it all okay. I mean, he's my dad, and physically, I don't know any one person in the world who is any tougher than him in that capacity.  He's a fighting machine... always has been, and once he gets through this thing, he will continue to be.  I just don't think he's going to be walking or working for a long while now.  That's no fun.  So if you are reading this, please keep him in your thoughts.

That's all I really have for now.  At least I'm sleeping well, which has never really been a problem for me. I have internet, which means I can watch movies on my television.  I have food, and plenty of it.  Tonight I made some massaman curry using some stuff I bought a local Asian gargantu-market.  Then I had some chai tea with milk.  I feel so fancy.  I never had chai tea with milk in my previous home.  Oh man, what is Portland turning me into?  At least it smells good here at home (like brown rice, mostly).

Hopefully I'll have better news and spirits by the end of the week.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz